Today made me wonder how I could have worked in Dallas for 3 years, yet still gotten as lost as a new freshman on a college campus. In my defense, my dermatologist's office is ridiculously impossible to find. It amuses me to no end how they tell you that it's on the corner of Royal and Preston, when in reality it's tucked behind three buildings, 2 on Preston, one on Royal. The truth of the matter is that the building is on the corner of Confusion and Lost as hell. It's not like this was my very first visit. I've been going to this dermatologist at least once a year for the past 3 years.
I knew good and well that there was a possibility I could get a little turned around looking for the office, so I allowed myself a cushion. I figured if we got there early it would give the Petite enough time to gobble down some lunch, thereby reducing my chance of a mid-afternoon meltdown. At first, I was going to take Preston south, to avoid tolls. What you don't understand, if you don't live in the Dallas area, is that Preston is one freaking long road with more stoplights than a red light district. (lightbulb just went on as to why they're called red light districts) I quickly decide, after going 3 lights south of 121, that it will take me the rest of the afternoon to get to Dallas the long way. So off I divert to the Tollway. A couple of tolls are worth my sanity for the following reasons: 1. not having to stress about time, 2. not having to worry about a possible nuclear meltdown from my 4 year old, 3. less chance of getting stuck behind grandma slow, who is inevitably ALWAYS driving down Preston, south out of Frisco.
My first mistake was getting on the tollway. I completely and totally missed my exit and had to turn around at the last tollbooth headed south, thereby nullifying my brilliant plan to save on tolls. I exited Lovers with plenty of time to go and patted myself on the back for the well thought out plan. Happy Petite=Happy Mommy=Happy Afternoon. Did I double check the address before I left? No, I know where I'm going. I know Dallas. Cake. It's right about the time I roll up on Preston and Lovers that I realize....Damn, I boo-booed. Quick diversion through the Turtle Creek neighborhoods sends me on a wild goose chase back to Preston...second mistake. I end up much further SOUTH of where I need to be and am still going south. Wait a tick, the houses are getting nicer and bigger and "Frick, I'm in the wrong area!" Here we go again, turning around and heading back NORTH on Preston. About this time the Petite pipes up and says, "Mommy, are we lost?" "No no sugar bear I know exactly where we are." Under NO circumstance do you let the preschooler know you are confused and more turned around than the night you had too many double vodka sevens and ended up with the worst case of bed spins. Why, for the life of me, can I not freaking remember the order of streets south of 635. Is Royal north or south of Lovers? FRICK! FRICK! FRICK! I can name every single street, in order, north of George Bush, but I am suddenly forgetting every street south of 635.
I'm watching the numbers on the clock spin by as I try and motor my way up Preston. Here's the more humorous part....I know that my doctor's office is directly across Preston from the Gap at Preston and Royal. I spent one whole day completely remerchandising their floor when I was a Gap store manager. So why I cannot remember where the heck I'm going is beyond me. By the pure Grace of God the lightbulb goes off in my head..."I wrote the address in my calendar (on my phone)." Score one for me! And super yay for a little invention called Google Maps.
We're 5 minutes late and we are barrelling up Preston with screech around the corner at Royal. Of course, when we hit the parking lot every single parking spot south of the Mason Dixon line is taken. It's now that I have to give precise instructions to the Petite. "When we get parked we are going to have to RUN." "Like a Gazelle Mommy?" "Yes, Gazelle intensity baby, Gazelle intensity." (she's a Dave Ramsey kid). We manage a space, catapult out of the car, and hit the ground running so fast that Cammi's practically whipping along behind me like a scarf end in the wind. We hit the door and head down the hallway of the building. "MOMMY!!!" I look into one very sad and panicked face. "I only have one Polly." *cue the river of tears about to flow* We started out the trip with 4 Pollies. She's been patient this whole CFed trip. I hurry back to her only to realize that her little Polly Pocket purse has a huge hole in it. Luckily as I look out the door to the building I can see two of the missing bodies. So here goes Mommy following a trail of Polly Pockets back towards the car, as if we'd left them there to remember our trip back to our North 40 parking spot. Polly Pockets are gathered, Petite is happy, and we make it only 8 minutes late.
Our trip home was less traumatic and we made it home without incident. I think I need to go drive around in Dallas monthly just to help me remember where I am when I descend south of 635.
Jan 14, 2010
95 lbs of girly evil
It's that time of night again. The hour where I look at the clock and tell myself, "I should have been in bed 2 hours ago, what am I still doing up?", but continue to play the SNOOZE game...just 5 more minutes. Do I have anything interesting to contribute this evening? Probably not, but since it's my blog you will listen to me because I can.
This time of night is often my favorite time. Why? It's quiet. No one bugs me. I can do and watch whatever I want. Usually happens in this order.... try and delete some of the 700-some emails in my inbox until my eyes cross from boredom. After 4 years at a job where I did nothing but answer emails ALL DAY LONG, I tend to neglect my email. When I finally get bored with my email it's a quick check of FB and Twitter, where I spend another 30 minutes catching up on all my celebrity gossip. Between that and inevitably re-watching my favorite DVRed episodes of Gossip Girl, I fill my drama quota for each day. And by drama I mean the downright lascivious and brutal backstabbing only Blair Waldorf can bring.
Which sorta parlays me into my next thought at this late hour....is it just me or does GG suck this season???! TJ and I recently had this conversation. Blair and Chuck have gone soft. I want the there's-so-much-sexual-tension-between-these-two-you-could-gag Chair. 
Yeah yeah it's great to see them finally together, but honestly I rather enjoyed watching Chuck annoy the hell out of Blair while she did a poor job of pushing away his advances. No one character, as stated in an early post, is more drippily sexy and intriguing than Chuck Bass. And not ONCE this season has he uttered "I'm Chuck Bass." I want Queen B back too. Her attempts to take over NYU have been watery at best. Did the writers forget that if you google revenge you get blairwaldorf.com??? Seriously people I'm tired of watching Serena 's drama. It's BOOORING, but I do thank you for all but writing whiny Jenny out of the show.
Yeah yeah it's great to see them finally together, but honestly I rather enjoyed watching Chuck annoy the hell out of Blair while she did a poor job of pushing away his advances. No one character, as stated in an early post, is more drippily sexy and intriguing than Chuck Bass. And not ONCE this season has he uttered "I'm Chuck Bass." I want Queen B back too. Her attempts to take over NYU have been watery at best. Did the writers forget that if you google revenge you get blairwaldorf.com??? Seriously people I'm tired of watching Serena 's drama. It's BOOORING, but I do thank you for all but writing whiny Jenny out of the show. Who is this Gaga wannabe on Jimmy Fallon?!! Blasphemy people. Blasphemy.
I digress... So my late night pattern is...check email till eyeballs bleed, check FB, check Twitter, 1/2 watch Gossip Girl/Greek/Glee for daily drama, eat a bowl of cereal. Realize around 1 am I am tired as hell and that the Petite will inevitably be up in 5 1/2 hours. Urgh. Defiantly drag myself upstairs to bed where after moving small dog, who amazingly hogs whole large bed, manage to drift off to sleep.
I suppose I should actually try and get some sleep since I've spent most of the last week sicker than a dog, channelling Darth Vader when I breath because I'm so stopped up, with a voice that sounds like a 1-900 girl. Novel idea that rest and sleep might be the fast track to health.
*bows* Namaste
Jan 7, 2010
A new year, the time when everyone chooses to make changes. I never make resolutions. Mostly cause I can't remember the dang things months later. So I like to make myself goals for the year. I know, po-tay-to po-tah-to. At year's end I can see how I've fared.
1. Work-out.
Last year I began a year long sweat fest with a "hot yoga" membership. Once I got past the dizzingly strong urge to pass out cold (ironic I know) in the 98 degree room with 62% humidity, I actually found that this was the perfect place for me. I am always the right temperature while everyone else is always freakishly hot (read: I freeze my ass off everywhere while everyone else is comfortable). The 98 degree room was like heaven to me, and no one was around to groan and tell me to turn the heat down. Yahtzee! Added bonus: I suddenly became the same gumby-like elastagirl from my youth.
Sadly, I practically had to mortgage my house to enjoy my little tropical getaway. This year I'll be enjoying the meat market they call a fitness gym. I've had a little preview at my Aunt's gym in Phoenix. Oh, how I look forward to laughing my belly flat at all the peacocked look-at-my-big -muscles gym divas (yes men). The ones who practically kiss their own muscles as they curl their 50 lb barbell. Then they sit on the nearest machine they can find trying to catch their breath, trying to be convincing that they are really just mentally preparing for their next show-off performance. You all look like a bunch of tools from my perspective on the treadmill. I expect this little adventure will provide me with many a hearty laugh. Hey, it's good for my health, right?!
2. FB less
Facebook, not Football. Good heavens, never will I watch less NCAA football. The season is over and I am in my mourning period. One would be wise to just leave me be until post season ranking are out. But I digress... I spend way too much time wasting my life away on FB. We'll see if I can manage to cut down the status updates to at least once a day. It's my own personal challenge.
3. Become Paula Deen
I did not inherit the cooking gene. I recently saw a commercial for a show called "Worst Chef in America." I've given serious consideration to entering. I'm not so tragically bad that I can't make the basics, but to say I "know" how to cook is a lie at best. This girl can easily follow a recipe, it's the creating a meal with different dishes and nutritional content that trips me up. I can usually get the main course made and served, but that's about all your getting. Luckily the boy will eat anything short of cow brains, and the petite sticks to her five food groups: mac-n-cheese, oatmeal, yogurt, applesauce, and bananas. Guess I have some time before I have to worry about critics.
4. Be positive.
Eliminate all negative things from my life. Look always to the glass half full. Speak positively to my family even when I want to hang them by their toes. Try to remember that I am NOT the head or even ON the planning committee for my life, so lighten up when things don't seem to go as I imagined. Remember Jeremiah 29:11.
5. Get out of debt.
We are so darn close it's tangible. If past friends can make it out on about what we have, we can too. Gazelle intensity people, gazelle intensity.
6. Go to bed early
Somehow in the past year and a half I've managed to regain my night-owl crown. I see 1 am more often then not, but unfortunately for me I cannot snooze the call of the petite. Whilst I am glad that she is agreeable enough to climb in bed with me and watch the mind-numbing torture called Dora, so I can get in another hour, I am pretty sure that dreams of a stereotypically chubby Hispanic girl who can't match her clothes is NOT quality sleep. Early sleep would allow me the opportunity to avoid having to hear her squeaky voice....Dora's not Petite's.
7. Quiet time every day
God always finds time for me, but I struggle to find time for him. Not good. Somehow I think that my day would be much clearer if I plugged into my power source for more than just a quick drive by. Think a homemade hearty meal vs a stop for a quick drive-through meal. Nothing can quite be as nourishing as digging heartily into the Word and simmering on some God soup. He is my creator, my protector, my father, my redeemer. This goal should really be my number one goal for the year. I know all others will fall into place when this one is priority. #7 is the new #1. And isn't it divine that it is number 7, as 7 represents divine things throughout the bible over and over. I've got your number big guy...or should I say, you have mine!
8. Finish reading all my half started books
I am notorious for starting books, then hearing about another, starting it, and so on and so on. I am usually simultaneously reading 5 books at any given time. What this amounts to is a stack of half bitten into books on my bedside table and in my car. Yes, my car. No time is better for reading and soaking up a good book than carpool. I get there 30 minutes before school lets out to get some good reading in. I'm sure many think it's to get my child on time so she doesn't have to be the last kid picked up...alas no. It's so mommy can have her reading time. You can find me doing my bible study homework in carpool on any given school day afternoon. To the Petite's benefit, she is usually one of the first kids in her class picked up, if not the very first. The next 6 months of school should give me enough time to finish all my half eaten apples of knowledge.
9. Have date night EVERY week
Seems so easy when you say it. Seems so easy when you don't have kids. If we knew then what we know now... My advice to all my married friends who don't have children yet, start this practice immediately!! This, along with nightly couch time, is paramount to your marriage. So as an added addendum to this goal, I also hope to have couch time at least 4 nights a week. As parents you really have to carve out time to make your relationship with your spouse the priority. We've been aiming at date nights every Wednesday night for months now. Our success rate is probably 20% at best. Something always gets in the way. So big prayers we can manage a little getaway together at least once a week, even if it's just down the road to Taco Bell and back.
10. Clean and organize "the black hole"
This darn room in my house has haunted me since the day we moved in. Originally, it was our "study." Since the birth of our daughter, it has slowly morphed into the catch-all it is now. Every time we try to organize it, somehow it explodes all on it's own. I WILL contain it this year. I WILL organize it and make it a functional room to which I can leave the door open once again.
Theme for the new year: "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; the will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
2010 Goals
1. Work-out.
Last year I began a year long sweat fest with a "hot yoga" membership. Once I got past the dizzingly strong urge to pass out cold (ironic I know) in the 98 degree room with 62% humidity, I actually found that this was the perfect place for me. I am always the right temperature while everyone else is always freakishly hot (read: I freeze my ass off everywhere while everyone else is comfortable). The 98 degree room was like heaven to me, and no one was around to groan and tell me to turn the heat down. Yahtzee! Added bonus: I suddenly became the same gumby-like elastagirl from my youth.
Sadly, I practically had to mortgage my house to enjoy my little tropical getaway. This year I'll be enjoying the meat market they call a fitness gym. I've had a little preview at my Aunt's gym in Phoenix. Oh, how I look forward to laughing my belly flat at all the peacocked look-at-my-big -muscles gym divas (yes men). The ones who practically kiss their own muscles as they curl their 50 lb barbell. Then they sit on the nearest machine they can find trying to catch their breath, trying to be convincing that they are really just mentally preparing for their next show-off performance. You all look like a bunch of tools from my perspective on the treadmill. I expect this little adventure will provide me with many a hearty laugh. Hey, it's good for my health, right?!
2. FB less
Facebook, not Football. Good heavens, never will I watch less NCAA football. The season is over and I am in my mourning period. One would be wise to just leave me be until post season ranking are out. But I digress... I spend way too much time wasting my life away on FB. We'll see if I can manage to cut down the status updates to at least once a day. It's my own personal challenge.
3. Become Paula Deen
I did not inherit the cooking gene. I recently saw a commercial for a show called "Worst Chef in America." I've given serious consideration to entering. I'm not so tragically bad that I can't make the basics, but to say I "know" how to cook is a lie at best. This girl can easily follow a recipe, it's the creating a meal with different dishes and nutritional content that trips me up. I can usually get the main course made and served, but that's about all your getting. Luckily the boy will eat anything short of cow brains, and the petite sticks to her five food groups: mac-n-cheese, oatmeal, yogurt, applesauce, and bananas. Guess I have some time before I have to worry about critics.
4. Be positive.
Eliminate all negative things from my life. Look always to the glass half full. Speak positively to my family even when I want to hang them by their toes. Try to remember that I am NOT the head or even ON the planning committee for my life, so lighten up when things don't seem to go as I imagined. Remember Jeremiah 29:11.
5. Get out of debt.
We are so darn close it's tangible. If past friends can make it out on about what we have, we can too. Gazelle intensity people, gazelle intensity.
6. Go to bed early
Somehow in the past year and a half I've managed to regain my night-owl crown. I see 1 am more often then not, but unfortunately for me I cannot snooze the call of the petite. Whilst I am glad that she is agreeable enough to climb in bed with me and watch the mind-numbing torture called Dora, so I can get in another hour, I am pretty sure that dreams of a stereotypically chubby Hispanic girl who can't match her clothes is NOT quality sleep. Early sleep would allow me the opportunity to avoid having to hear her squeaky voice....Dora's not Petite's.
7. Quiet time every day
God always finds time for me, but I struggle to find time for him. Not good. Somehow I think that my day would be much clearer if I plugged into my power source for more than just a quick drive by. Think a homemade hearty meal vs a stop for a quick drive-through meal. Nothing can quite be as nourishing as digging heartily into the Word and simmering on some God soup. He is my creator, my protector, my father, my redeemer. This goal should really be my number one goal for the year. I know all others will fall into place when this one is priority. #7 is the new #1. And isn't it divine that it is number 7, as 7 represents divine things throughout the bible over and over. I've got your number big guy...or should I say, you have mine!
8. Finish reading all my half started books
I am notorious for starting books, then hearing about another, starting it, and so on and so on. I am usually simultaneously reading 5 books at any given time. What this amounts to is a stack of half bitten into books on my bedside table and in my car. Yes, my car. No time is better for reading and soaking up a good book than carpool. I get there 30 minutes before school lets out to get some good reading in. I'm sure many think it's to get my child on time so she doesn't have to be the last kid picked up...alas no. It's so mommy can have her reading time. You can find me doing my bible study homework in carpool on any given school day afternoon. To the Petite's benefit, she is usually one of the first kids in her class picked up, if not the very first. The next 6 months of school should give me enough time to finish all my half eaten apples of knowledge.
9. Have date night EVERY week
Seems so easy when you say it. Seems so easy when you don't have kids. If we knew then what we know now... My advice to all my married friends who don't have children yet, start this practice immediately!! This, along with nightly couch time, is paramount to your marriage. So as an added addendum to this goal, I also hope to have couch time at least 4 nights a week. As parents you really have to carve out time to make your relationship with your spouse the priority. We've been aiming at date nights every Wednesday night for months now. Our success rate is probably 20% at best. Something always gets in the way. So big prayers we can manage a little getaway together at least once a week, even if it's just down the road to Taco Bell and back.
10. Clean and organize "the black hole"
This darn room in my house has haunted me since the day we moved in. Originally, it was our "study." Since the birth of our daughter, it has slowly morphed into the catch-all it is now. Every time we try to organize it, somehow it explodes all on it's own. I WILL contain it this year. I WILL organize it and make it a functional room to which I can leave the door open once again.
Theme for the new year: "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; the will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
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