joints...are these growing pains?

why is it that when one joint hurts they all hurt at once? it started with my wrists feeling stiff. then my fingers. then one ankle, then the other. then my elbows. then my knees. and them my hips and then my back. AAAAUUGH! no matter how much I stretch or move or extend this annoying stiffness will not go away. and my neck. i can't figure it out. My joints haven't been bothering me at all. I wonder if it's going to rain tomorrow. really if my wrists didn't hurt it wouldn't be so bad. I can't stop thinking about it. Grr....

Okay, onto other things...i need to distract myself. Watched the season finale of lost. Freaking confused. Seriously, just when I have it, they throw another loop. Good writing and producing Drew! And of course now we have to wait until freaking fall to find out what the story is.

Prayer request: clarity for my life. knowing what is going on in my life and the next path to walk down.

Alien pictures

The Alien is slightly bigger today than yesterday! LOL! Thought I'd take some pictures to show off my alien baby. *laughs hysterically* In the first picture you can see the lovely bruise that has developed on my belly, and the fact that my belly button is swollen shut.

In the second picture, you can see how swollen I am, and the effects of the hematoma. My belly is usually quite flat, but not at present. I find the humor in all this right now. The fact that I look 4 months pregnant is too funny. Enjoy.

hematoma

the good news is that i don't have an infection in my upper incision. Yay! I do have a large hematoma under the skin at my incision point. I look like there is an alien under my stomach. I have this huge knot, this huge pooch in my belly. It's bruised and black and blue. And the funniest part is that my usually very cavernous belly button is completely swollen shut. That is one thing I can definitely laugh at. it looks so funny.

Fuzzy headed

Yesterday, I had my laparoscopy surgery. I have come to the conclusion, post op, that I would not like to have a C Section if at all possible. I am hurting muy mucho after my surgery. I have two small incisions, one in my belly button, and one at the top of my bikini line. The one in my belly button is quite painful. I didn't sleep too well last night due to the pain. Also the dogs jumping on and off the bed and Brad tossing and turning didn't help. Every time the bed shook a huge pain would surge from my belly button out to my hips. My pain medication was not doing much but taking the edge off the pain and temporarily knocking me out. I've made a call to Dr. Boyd's office this morning because the pain is increasing and the meds aren't really working. Plus, I am swollen all around my belly button. I have to assume that this is not good. Big prayers please that there is no infection anywhere.

Dr. Boyd found nothing bad. No endomitriosis, nothing bad with my ovaries (whew!), and really not much but a very healthy and clean uterus. So while I am quite happy about all of that, it's slightly frustrating to have gone through all this medical testing and still not understand all these symptoms I am having.

My Hida scan found nothing wrong with my gall bladder. I am leery about my gastro doctor though. He doesn't instill in me a bunch of confidence. So, I am going to seek out a new gastroenterologist for a second opinion on everything. If anyone knows of a good gastroenterologist, please, please let me know.

Enough about my health....let's move on to Cammi. We have been really going gangbusters with her on potty training. It has not been an easy road. I really wanted to have her done by the time I went back to work, but I don't think that is going to happen. In the words of Dave Ramsey, financial guru, we have been moving through potty training with gazelle intensity. Our first challenge was to actually get Cam to sit on the potty. So now I've gotten her to sit on the potty with much incentive. At first I gave her an M & M for every minute she sat there, now it's about every 5 minutes. Also, the concentration is to help her to realize that it's about staying dry and clean. So every 10 minutes or so I will ask her if she's dry and she has to check. She gets a gigantic smile on her face and if she's dry she gets another M & M. The glitch now is that she won't actually go potty in the potty. And let me tell you, my child has an iron bladder. She held it on Saturday for almost 6 hours. Somehow I have to figure out how to make going potty in the potty less scary. I bought 6 books about going to the potty. She loves them all and I think that is helping, plus an Elmo video about going potty. We've been working on an incentive too. She LOVES LOVES LOVES Thomas Tank Engine. She found this gigantic TTE pillow at target shaped just like him. I told her that if she went potty in the potty for 5 days we would get her the Thomas Tank Engine "baby", as she calls it. We bought TTE stickers for her potty chart. Alas, 4 days later we've only gone tee tee in the potty twice. I keep praying for successes. Prayer request for Cammi: to not be scared to sit on the potty and to not be scared to go tee tee in the potty. She can wear panties and hold it for hours on end, but still not much success in the actual potty.

And that is the news round here.

Nuclear Medicine

First, I just have to say, as much as I love Edyta and Jason...they should have been eliminated before Cristian and Cheryl. I am NEVER attracted to latin men, but Cristian is beautiful, and can dance to boot.

Onto today. This morning was my hida scan. 2 1/2 hours of staying perfectly still on a very hard xray table. Augh. First they injected me with a radioactive substance that was imaged for an hour. I was essentially sandwiched between two large squares. A nuclear crystal sandwich. LOL! After an hour I got to get up and stretch. But the substance hadn't made it as far as they wanted...so it was another half hour on the table. After that I got another chance to stretch. Another substance was injected into my IV, to make my gall bladder contract. It made my arm feel funny where it was dripping into my IV. My stomach got swollen and I started to have the pain in my back again. I wonder if that means that my gall bladder doesn't function properly? I'll find out in the next two days, they said. Waiting for the other stuff to drip and do it's thing was another boring hour on the table. Every time I'd fall asleep they would ask me a question. It's like that in doctor's offices.

Next Tuesday I go in for my laproscopy. It's to look at my plumbing. We'll see what Dr Boyd has to say about it on Thursday when I go in for my prep. More on that later...

Something I find funny from today is that I can set off metal detectors. They actually gave me a card to carry with me for the next 3 days. It made me giggle.

Ah, Kristi won...no surprise...but she bugged me. She was good, but I would have rather it have been Jason or Cristian.

On and On

Good news today! The test for tumor markers for Ovarian Cancer came back negative. Whew! This was a huge huge relief for me. So while I can rest that my signs, all of which were in line for early ovarian cancer, are not due to ovarian cancer, I am still nowhere closer to figuring out what the heck is going on with me. To say the least I was a little freaked out that my symptoms were the same as early ovarian cancer symptoms. I seriously don't know what I would have done if.... but it's not even possible now, which is great!

Dr. Boyd is still going to do the laproscopy to look at my uterus and my ovaries. The concern there is endimetriosis, which could be causing most, if not all, of my symptoms.

Tomorrow I'll have my Hidascan which will look at my gall bladder function. Pray it goes well.

Off to bed.

Tests Tests and More Tests

This week has been a bevy of tests. I went to see my urologist. I think I was the youngest patient in there. LOL! A chat with the doctor and an xray. No stones in my kidneys which is a good thing. That was a relief. Today was a sonogram on my gallbladder. No stones, but that doesn't show if it functions correctly or not. So up next is a HIDAscan to check the function of my gallbladder.

Tomorrow is the visit with the obgyn for some screenings for cervical cancer, ovarian cancer, and uterine cancer. I can't say I'm not scared, cause i am. But I'm keeping my happy, optimistic face on. I know God is in control.

Monday-Wednesday: Battle of the Will(iam)s

I have the utmost respect for all stay at home moms. I have surely enjoyed my time with Cameran the past 4 days. It's been good bonding time for us, but I cannot lie that it has been tough. What usually is distributed b/t two of us is all just me now. We've had some obedience issues, but we've had some breakthroughs too. I think the hardest thing has been getting up in the morning. Cam gets up so early. I am hardly functional.

Monday we headed down to Santa Fe to pick up some things for my step mom. Poor dad, Cam wanted nothing to do with him. It's not like her. She usually goes straight to Papa. We stopped and had lunch at the Blue Corn Cafe. I had a very tasty green chile cheeseburger. It makes me so sad that home is the only place to enjoy these. Nothing quite flavors a burger like green chile. God it's good! After lunch we headed over to the Children's Museum, but alas it was closed Mondays and Tuesdays. So we headed home. Papa and Cam had a good time swinging on Grandma and Papa's porch swing when we got home and Cam warmed up a little to Papa. We visited Mom at her Icon painting class and she got to show off Cam to all her friends. Then Cammi and Maama chased each other around the gym of the Parish Hall for an hour and Cammi giggled so hard. Thanks for wearing her out Mom!

Tuesday we sort of took it easy. We enjoyed lunch with Mom. I had a good giggle at all the nerdy scientists in my town. They really are so nerdy. The brain power in the restaurant was incredible, but the fashion choices...scary. Cam had a great time walking all around the patio and watching all the people. After lunch we went over to Nana and Papa's house. Cam immediately headed for the basket of toys and tennis balls. She took out the squeaky frog book that she loves so much and we had many smiles. Papa...Big Papa...made her laugh so hard, as only he can. They smiled and giggled and played on the piano. Cammi shook her maraca. Afterwards we came home for a nap and some rest. The rest of the night was just relaxing.

Last night wasn't good sleep. I was hot and Cam was grinding her teeth hard and I think, having a nightmare. I laid in the bed with her for an hour or so trying to get her to stop grinding and tossing and turning. There is something I miss about home, and it's the ability to open up the window when it gets hot. I grew up my entire life without air conditioning. We didn't need it. When it got hot you just opened up a window to let the fresh cool night air in. I love the smell of Los Alamos air. It's sweet and clean. The cool air comes in gradually and cools things off nicely, not like the rude interruption and freeze of a noisy air conditioner. Even this morning it was comfortable.

Today we headed back to Santa Fe, to the children's museum. We had a great time. We colored and made Daddy a special picture. We blew big big bubbles. We climbed in the wooden jungle gym. We climbed in tree houses and just had a wonderful time.

The Trip Out and Day 1

Luckily for me it turns out that they do have a Frantic Mother Clause at the airport. That or the security people felt a serious amount of pity for me. Having to get up at the crack of my sister does not put me in chipper and happy mood. 530 is too early for anyone, much less the mother of one very obstinate almost 3 year old. So up and at em' I was, leaping out of the bed like a gazelle at 530 Saturday morning, this all after only 4 hours of sleep. Why do I always pack last minute?! We managed to actually get out the door at a decent time and off to the aeropuerto.

We went to check the suitcase first and my bag was over by 5 lbs. Seriously, you can't make an exception for 5 pounds, especially when you have 2 people in that one bag? The lady behind the counter proceeds to go into a diatribe of how at least 7 people have to touch my bag before it gets to the plane...blah blah blah. No crazy, the limit is set because of rising fuel prices! She proceeds to argue with me more. And seriously, here is my logic behind the whole reason they should just let me slide with the 5 lbs. I could pack 2 bags, cause hey, we are TWO ticketed passengers. So really I could have packed 2 bags at 50 lbs each and gotten on with a total of 100 lbs. Instead I decided to pack ONE 55 lb bag. And also, the average passenger is what, 160-170 lbs? I'm a good 80-90 lbs beneath that. Hell, two of me equals one male passenger. Cammi and I together maybe weight 115 at best. But no, the mean lady shuts me down and I have to unload some of my bag onto Brad to take back home. Grr.

We get over to the security check point where the line is longer than the line to the ladies restroom at Starplex when DMB is in town. How can the line be SO long at 7:45 am on a Saturday? It baffles me. There are three security people standing near us watching the lines form. They obviously must see the anguish and anxiety on my face. The nice plump one comes over and says, "Y'all can go through the family line." Praise you my man! Here is where the morning gets hairy. I have to take Cam out of her rolling car seat to get through security. I've got to schlep the car seat, the backpack that weighs as much as me, my purse, and the girl through security....all w/o Brad. And I know the minute Brad even thinks of saying goodbye Cammi is going to shout at the top of her lungs, "Daddy I wanna hold you!" Her bottom lips starts to quiver as Brad unbuckles her and sure enough she whines, "Daddy hold me!" Frick! I have no idea how I'm going to ply her body off his. I'm nearly in tears at this point because I know what a scene this is going to be. Plumpy again rides over on his white horse and tells Brad he can get a pass through security to help. I want to kiss this man and give him my life's savings.

We manage through security and hightail it down the concourse and around the corner to the gate. When we get there I nicely go up to the guy who calls everyone to board and let him know that I have a small child. He just looks at me like I've lost my mind and gives me a "I could care less lady" look. "You can't board first!" Wha?!!! "What group does your boarding pass say?" "B" "Then you have to wait until after the A's to board." I wanted to kick this man's shins so badly and bruise them. Then he gets over the intercom and says to all sitting there (I am the ONLY one with a child of any age) "For those of you with children, especially small children, you may NOT board first. You will board after group A, during family boarding." I have a very very not nice word in my brain and I nearly yell it at him. Brad goes to talk to the lady at the counter checking in other passengers. She goes over to Asshat and tries to get him to reconsider. He makes a snide comment and says that no I can't board early. She tells Brad he can help me board. So, much to the mean man's dismay, Brad gets through his gates and helps me get on the plane and get Cam and car seat secured.

Everyone I am sitting around asks me why I didn't get to board first? I tell them about our friendly ticket taker and they all agree he is the F bomb word. Cammi and I end up sitting with a woman who was nice enough, but turns out got stinking drunk at 815 in the morning. When we sat next to her I kept thinking, "I smell someone who is SATURATED in alcohol. " It's after we all order our first drink that I realize she is already spent. She tries to pay the flight attendant twice for her bloody mary, claiming she already had one and would like another. He just looks at me and I have to turn to Cammi to keep from laughing. Total number of bloody mary's consumed = 5. When we get to Albuquerque she asks the flight attendants if she can step out for a smoke. They just look at me when I get out into the feeder arm and ask me how many this lady has had. The scary thing is that she was continuing on to Seattle...another 2 1/2 hours.

Yesterday I spent a lovely day with my best friend, Kristy. It was wonderful to see her and spend time with her. Cammi had fun playing with all the toys at her house and was enamoured by her daughter Mackenzie. I think Mackenzie was glad when we left. Cammi shadowed her for a good 2 hours.

Cam and I had a nice nap in the car from Kristy's house to Santa Fe. We stopped at Tomasitas on the way home and I indulged myself in some real Mexican food. YUMMY! I still have half of it in the refrigerator downstairs. In fact that sounds really delicious right now. When we got back to Dad's, Cammi and I laid down and were out for the count. That is until I got a foot in my face and my ribs. needless to say it wasn't a great night's sleep for me, with extra body parts prodding my ribs and stomach.

Today we went to the Pond and fed the duckies and enjoyed the sculptures there. Cam had a blast and just ran ran ran herself to death. Dad and I had a good giggle at her exuberance. On the walk back Cammi picked a dandelion for Grandma. Nothing says I love you like weeds. LOL!

Tomorrow we're off to Santa Fe for the day. Stay tuned....

Laundry monsters and rotten Apples

Today was full of lots of to dos before we head off to The Land of Enchantment on Saturday. Calls to various places, filling out of various forms, measuring of car seats, and the imminent mounds of laundry that haunt me to be folded in our hallway. Seriously we are talking MOUNTAINS. I'm usually so good about folding. I just haven't been motivated to do it. However, with our trip, and needing to pack tomorrow, I'm just going to have to wrestle those clothes and hogtie them quick and dirty. I really really just loathe packing. I always over pack. Really, it's Cam I over pack for. I just never want her to be cold. So I tend to bring too much.

Now I have the added complication of making sure our suitcase is under 50 lbs. Seriously don't know how I'm going to accomplish that feat. Wish me luck. I hope I can figure out how to get us both packed without exceeding the weight limit. Getting to the airport and through security should be entertaining. I'm fearing the possible meltdown Cammi has when Daddy can't come through security with us. There should be a loophole that allows both parents to attend to a toddler before boarding a plane. They could call it the "Frantic Mother Clause." It helps maintain the sanity of the poor mother who is about to meet the scariest terror(ist) she or anyone else has ever met...the strong willed almost 3 year old. The one who completely has a mind of her own. Wonder if I could sedate her before flight? Then grab a nice strong cocktail for myself...or 2 or 3. Is that even allowed at 8 am? Guess we'll find out. ;)

Today I reloaded my itunes. I have some serious beef with Apple. First of all, what moronic company doesn't have a customer support line for something as big as iTunes?! After spending 15 minutes on the phone with apple customer support they tell me that they can't help me with itunes. This after I have gone through a 10 minute explanation of why all our music is lost, and my username and password with it, because our computer completely crashed. Seriously, you couldn't have stopped me before my story and said, "I'm sorry, I can't help you." I think she just wanted to hear my frustrated angst. All I could do was send a STUPID email to the customer support. After reaching to the innermost scary and cobwebbed recesses of my brain, I managed to dig up my username and password. Praise Jesus! Though I am slightly irritated that all my purchased music wouldn't load back into my itunes from my ipod. Some crazy error message from lovely itunes that 49 songs were not authorized for my computer. HELLO, I freaking authorized it just as the customer support said too. It said it didn't recognize them. All 49 are Wiggles songs. Trust me, I DID buy these on itunes. Grr! I need to be able to shuffle Big Red Car and Toot Toot people!! You do not want to mess with the 3 year old who says...strike that...exuberantly yells from the back seat, "Mommy, I NEED Toot Toot! Mommy, Big Red Car again!!" Thus my battles with Steve Jobs shall continue tomorrow. I'll be downloading as many episodes of Backyardigans and D-d-d-d-Dora as possible before the big plane ride. Should keep the little one happy for at least an hour.

Well, off to my piles of laundry!