Tough times

Allow me the space, to use this blog. to just vent about my day. Today was one of those days that every stay at home mom dreads. First, I felt like hammered poo when I got up this morning. My back hurt so bad, like the worst days of my Fibro. No temperature. So I wasn't sick. Brad tried to stick around to help with Cameran, but she was being very high maintenance, and he couldn't get any work done. Many thanks to him for affording me another 45 minutes of sleep. Needless to say, Cam woke up on the WRONG side of the bed this morning. Every little thing was making her flip out. Let me tell you, my kid can out wail, out whine any kid south of the Mason Dixon line. It was tough going this morning. She just had to do everything OPPOSITE of what I was asking, and my head was hardly functioning well enough to think clearly. Finally, around 9:15 I managed to usher her upstairs to have some blanket time, while I hopped in the shower. Ahh, the shower! Nothing more comforting than standing in that scalding hot water, letting all my crankies run down the drain with my shampoo bubbles. After 10 minutes I felt somewhat better and more awake. I was so thankful that Cam was obedient enough to really entertain herself during blanket time for those 10 minutes Mommy regained her sanity.

We met Trisha, my old boss, and cherished friend, for lunch at Central Market. Swear to you, that is the BEST place ever! Anything and everything you could possibly ever want to eat, made delicious and perfect...not to mention you can grocery shop later. Plus they have a giant play area outside on the patio just for kids. So we waited for Miss Trisha, and then we headed inside for some lunch. If there is one thing I am revelling in recently, it's that I have discovered how much my picky eater LOVES hot dogs. You may think, "why Crystal, all kids love hot dogs!" Au Contraire! My child despises meat. Hates it. Flat out just will not eat it. We've been playing hardball with her on food, and pretty much not giving her options. But quite by accident in New Mexico, I discovered my kid is a fan of the dog. She'll eat 2/3 at a time. Finally, a way to get some meat protein in her. I digress....so I ordered up a kids dog for her, with a side of watermelon, which she has been jonesing for since our BBQ, and I got a kids burger with fries for myself. If you have never had a Central Market burger run now to your nearest Central Market for one. They are HEAVEN. And you are talking to the biggest hamburger conesoire ever. I search out the best hamburgers and where to get them. The ones at Central Market are never too greasy so they drip all over you. The meat is sweet and perfectly cooked...not to well not too rare. The bun is one of those delicious, sweet, fresh made buns they make in the bakery, and it just perfectly compliments the burger. They use perfectly green and crisp Romaine lettuce, and these delicious seasoned fries. Really, it's just so incredible. We had a great lunch with Trisha, and Cameran played her heart out with all the kids that were trickling in and out of the play area. Cammi kept calling them, "my new best friend." She tried things I think that she would not have tried if the other kids weren't there doing them too.

In the car on the way home, I knew what I was in for, for the rest of the afternoon. She just came unglued at everything. The air was too cold, she was out of minty water, she pulled her band aid off and wanted an new one....signs that she NEEDED a nap, PRONTO! I just kept praying for patience. Nothing can send my nerves to fray faster than her wail. I'm telling you, it's worse than nails on the chalkboard. It's her whiny wail. The one that makes me want to poke my ear drums out so I don't have to listen to it, and can bob along happily without ever getting super irritated. I knew next that the shoes were coming off and if she got mad enough, thrown at my head. HUGE problem I am working to correct. Unfortunately, she has inherited that lovely trait my mom and I have when we get super frustrated and upset...throwing. I was at my wits end and I pulled out the spanker and said if she even thought of throwing her shoes that I would pull over and spank her immediately with the spanker. *cue wail and meltdown* Needless to say she didn't throw her shoes. And I sat there thinking, "OMG I JUST became my parents!" (I hear you laughing Mom and Dad!) She did get timeout when we got home and did it exactly like she was supposed to, while Mommy took those three minutes for a timeout of her own.

I don't know about other stay at home moms, but nap time is the best time of my day sometimes. Especially on days like today. Unfortunately, I am not one of those moms that can sleep when her kids do. I don't fall asleep right away, so I am behind Cam, and when she wakes up I am disoriented because I'm still in the middle of my nap. I enjoy the quiet of nap time. I never turn on the TV. I just listen to the quiet of the room. Sometimes I just sit and think, and stare at the wall. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I get online. Now I understand all those times my parents were content to ride without the radio on, or not turn on the TV and just sit and enjoy the silence. It is magical.

Wake up after nap was no better than morning wake up. She was crrranky. I managed to bribe her (I know, worst GFI thing ever!) with the promise of a popsicle, and that seemed to cheer her up a bit. By the time I managed to get her ready for a trip to the grocery she was in full on melt mode again. All the way to the store...."Mommy I NEED my blankie! Mommy where is blankie! Mommy we have to go home for blankie!" In full whine. Again, where is the hot poker for my eardrums??? I felt bad because i snapped at her and she started crying. Talk about the worst parent award. I felt like a total monster. I apologized and asked her forgiveness. When I pulled into the store parking lot and parked, I immediately gave her a giant hug and told her that Mommy was wrong. She's got a great capacity to forgive quickly. Something she inherited from the Williams' side for certain. She was SO VERY GOOD the whole time we were in the grocery store. Of course those carts with the little cars on the front help! Praise the Lord for the inventor of those carts. You have saved the sanity of many a frazzled Mommy. I think Cam could sense I was a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs at that point. We gathered up all our groceries and headed to check out. We did have to head over to Sprouts, our local healthy grocery store, for some odds and ends I didn't get at Tom Thumb. I like to buy my meat there cause it's fresher and less loaded up with hormones. We picked up our favorite Minty water.... Metro Mint water, check it out at www.metromint.com, as a treat because Cam was very very good at the grocery store. When we got home Brad was pulling in right behind us. *Crystal's sanity does a happy dance.*

I managed to get dinner made at a reasonable hour and Brad took Cam off my hands. She melted at dinner and got put to bed early which she hated. She had worked herself into a frenzy by this point and we just waited for the silence to fall again. After some Daddy snuggles and a long potty break, she slipped off into sleep. And now it is midnight and I must be off myself. Tomorrow is another day in toddlerland, and unfortunately you cannot hit a snooze button on your kids.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's installment of....How Mommy tried not to lose her sanity while potty training. Extra bonus: story time at the Baptadome, sans Grammy who makes everything fun.